October 2010 ~ JOKES BLOG

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Two priests on vacation

5:08:00 PM Two priests on vacation 0 comments

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on beach chairs,

enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them.

They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned.

How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine..

After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

Again she nodded at each of them, said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said,

'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?' She replied,

'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'

Porsche & the Singaporean lawyer‏

11:00:00 AM Porsche and the Singaporean lawyer‏ 0 comments

This is a good one....typical singaporean...lol

A very successful Singaporean lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he was getting out, a truck came along too close to the car and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a policeman was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche; it was completely ruined and would never be the same no matter how hard the body shop might try to make it new again.

His lights flashing, but before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before ,was now completely ruined and would never be the same no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally calmed down from his rant, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. 'I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are,' he said.

'You're so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life'

'How can you say such a thing?' asked the lawyer.

The officer replied, 'Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!'

'OH, MY GOD!' screamed the lawyer.

'MY ROLEX!!!'

Some Hidden Information contained in Famous Logos

11:00:00 AM Some Hidden Information contained in Famous Logos

This logo doesn’t seem to hide much at first sight, but it gives you a little insight in the philosophy behind the brand. First of all, the yellow swoosh looks like a smile: Amazon.com want to have the best customer satisfaction. The swoosh also connects the letters a and z, meaning that this store has everything from a to z.

Fedex

This is probably one of the best known logos with a hidden meaning. If you look closely, you’ll see an arrow that’s formed by the letters E and x. This arrow symbolizes speed and precision, two major selling points of this company.

Continental is a manufacturer of tyres. You could actually see this in their logo, because the first two letters create a 3-dimensional tyre.

Toblerone is a chocolate-company from Bern, Switzerland. Bern is sometimes called ‘The City Of Bears’. They have incorporated this idea in the Toblerone logo, because if you look closely, you’ll see the silhouette of a bear.

The old logo of Baskin Robbins had the number 31 with an arc above it. The new logo took this idea to the next level. The pink parts of the BR still form the number 31, a reference to the 31 flavours.

Sony Vaio is a well known brand of laptops. But did you know that the name Vaio logo also had a hidden meaning? Well, the first two letters represent the basic analogue signal. The last two letters look like a 1 and 0, representing the digital signal.

Carrefour is one of the biggest European retailers, and it’s also French for “crossroads”. The logo symbolizes this word via two opposite arrows. They also added the first letter of the name, because if you look closely you’ll see the letter C in the negative space between the two arrows.

Unilever is one of the biggest producers of food, beverages, cleaning agents and personal care products. They produce a huge amount of different products and they wanted to reflect this in their logo. Each part of the logo has a meaning. For example: the heart represents love, care and health - feeling good, a bird is a symbol of freedom. Relief from daily chores – getting more out of life.

At first, this logo might not make much sense. But if you look closely, you’ll see the number 1 in the negative space between the F and the red stripes. I also love how this logo communicates a feeling of speed.

The Sun logo is one of the most famous ambigrams in the world. You can read the brand name in every direction; both horizontally and vertically. This logo was designed by professor Vaughan Pratt of the Stanford University.

The NBC (National Broadcasting Company) is one of the biggest American television networks. I think most of you have already seen the peacock in this logo. The peacock has 6 different tail feathers, referring to the six divisions at the time that this logo was created. The peacock’s head is flipped to the right to suggest it was looking forward, not back.

What A Joke!

11:00:00 AM What A Joke 0 comments

Man with the BIGGEST cock I've ever seen

Types of drinks as we age.....

E-MAIL FROM AN ARAB STUDENT TO HIS DAD

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying:

Dear Dad

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son,

Nasser

The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:

My dear loving son Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.