Monday, August 8, 2011

My boss fainted when he sees the form filled by the interviewee....

RESUME  SENT IN BY A CHINESE GIRL  first time filling up an application  
  Name:                    Ah Meng                                       
  Age:                      Still young                                   
  Sex:                      Never. Still under age                         
  Religion:                I only have experience praying my cat who dead 
  2 years before                                                           
  Race:                    I love to race, how you know?                 
  Nationality:              I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo         
  IC Number:                i see this number 6735                         
  Telephone number:        House no telephone                             
  Hand phone number:        3310 nokia                                     
  Address:                  Penang Jelutong 
  Who founded Penang     KAWAN KAKAK LAMPU                             
  City :                    Nor Haliza? is it !!                           
  Postcode:                I never post anything                         
  State:                    i good state of mind In my family,             
  Country:                  I love  travel to Canada                       
  Marriage status:          got two boy friend                             
  Email Address:            Hotmail                                       
  Education Background:    My teacher said not bad                       
  Working experience:      Last time got sell pirated VCD                 
  Father's name:            Daddy                                         
  Father's IC:              You ask him                                   
  Mother's name:            Mummy                                         
  Mother's IC:              You ask her                                   
  Salary Expected:          Yes                                           
  Hobbies:                  play empat ekor kena 2 time starter           
  When can you  start work: i comming out of jail this thursday can start 
  on friday                                                               
  Highest qualification:    Ya, very high                                 
  Grade:                    Ya, very high                                 
  College/University:      College                                       
  Signature:                Can I use chop aarr?                           

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.

I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.

I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---if not we'd both still be alive.


Thursday, February 10, 2011


A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.' 

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. 

 A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied. 

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. 

Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'

Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.' 

'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked. 

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'  
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your sexy wife.' 

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but how do you feel about it honey?'

You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband.I'd do the same for you!' 

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. 

The genie was insatiable and the sexy woman did not disappoint him. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 

How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.  

'No Kidding,' he said.  

'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Can we fix it...???? Yes we can!!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

YEAR 3000

Friday, February 4, 2011

Funny Coca-Cola

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Ads vs Reality

People around the world know fast food as one of the most reliable distributors of disappointment ever produced by the business world. We know that if we ever feel the need to complain about something, we can just grab a page out of a coupon booklet, adorned in pictures of juicy burgers, then go have a party. Why, the restaurants themselves usually plaster their walls with pictures of juicy burgers – often hanging right over your table – so that you need only open your eyes to find something to compare your food with, while you eat it.

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