JUST FOR LAUGH

The Letter "T"

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husband constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will  have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, 'Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending  requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the  letter 'T', to minimize the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you.'

On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex  craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, ‘Baby, I didn't' realize that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry. I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY

2. THURSDAY

3. TODAY

4. TOMORROW

5. TONIGHT

P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY,  I am waiting for you upstairs.'  

HAVE A LAUGH

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.

THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,

'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'

'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'

'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'

HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'

'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'

'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'

To be Or Not To Be Married .........A Good One I Think...

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.                                                       

Lee Majors  

  

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.           

Al Gore                                                             

  

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.                  Socrates                                                            

  

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving  them.                                                               

Mike Tyson                                                          

  

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,   

"What does a woman want?                                            

George Clooney                                                      

  

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. 

Bill Clinton                                                        

  

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.."               

George W. Bush                                                      

  

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."       

Rudy Giuliani                                                       

  

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."                          

Michael Jordan                                                      

  

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t..” The third gave me more children!  Donald Trump                                                        

  

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming                          

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,                                 

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.                                  

 Shaquille O’Neal                                                    

  

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...                                                          

Kobe Bryant                                                         

  

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.         

David Hasselhoff                                                    

  

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.             

Alec Baldwin                                                        

  

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.           

Barack Obama                                                        

  

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.           

Tommy Lee                                                           

  

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!” 

David Letterman                                                     

  

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!            Jay Leno