JUST FOR LAUGH...INDIAN JOKES

In war soldiers get injured, right? Here's how different races exclaim:

When the BRITISH got shot - OH MY GOD.....!!!!
When the MALAY got shot - YA ALLAH....!!!
When the INDIAN got shot - AH-YOYO AMMAH...!!!
But when the CHINESE Hokkien got shot, they go - NABUEH CHEE BYE, TIOK
LIAO...!!!!

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Signal for sex:

Man marries deaf girl. He mimes to her: "Let's make a signal code if we
want
sex?"
She nods and agrees. So he goes: "If I want sex, I'll squeeze your
breast.

In response you can shake my penis once for "yes" and 50 times for
"no"....

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Smart Thambi

Thambi ask hooker how much for sex? She says: $50 on bed, $20 on sofa
and $10 on
grass.
He then hands her $50. She says: "You man of class, one time on bed...?"
He says: "NO!! 5 times on grass...."

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Comfort in Friendship:

"Friends" are like underwear; always a comfort...
"Good friends" are like condoms; always protecting...
"Great friends" are like viagra; lift you up when you're down ...

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New drink from Malaysia:

The Malaysian government has approved the release of a new drink made
with
cutting edge technology.
It's a combination of Horlicks, Milo Kopi & Teh.
It's called - "LICKMYKOTEH"....

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Expiry date

A 95 yr old man sucks his 90yr old wife's breast for 1/2 hour, drinks 2
drops of
her milk and dies...
Post-mortem report - Died of drinking something after EXPIRY DATE ...

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Biology Lesson

Teacher: A man's penis has 2 key functions: Urination & Reproduction.

Student: But my dad uses it to brush our maid's teeth.

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Positive thinking

Positive thinking is like this.... A little bird flies up in the sky;
you look up
and it shits in your eye...
But you don't mind and you don't cry... But you thank God that cows
don't
fly.....

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Sexy Grandma

Last night, grandma wore a see-through top, grandpa didn't notice.
The 2nd night grandma wore a bikini, grandpa got a shock.
And on the 3rd night, she got naked and grandpa says to her: "why is
your dress
so crumpled...???"

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Government job

A guy goes to interview for a Government job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you a veteran?"
The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."

"Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor. Do you have
any
service-related disabilities?"
The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion
removed my private parts so they declared me disabled,
it doesn't affect my ability to work, though."

"Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I
can hire
you right now !
Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we'll get you
started."
The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to
come at
10?"
" Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and
scratch
our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that
!"